Before your baby is due to be born, when you are choosing where to give birth, make sure that the people you trust and important for your support are allowed to attend. For each mother it may be different, and may include your:
- Husband or partner
- Mother, sister, aunt, or other family member
- A dear friend
You should never be forced to be alone, without the people you love beside you, supporting you. With your doula and your mother or sister or dear friend rubbing your back, labor will be shorter. One special look and touch from your partner, will give you courage. For this kind of work, you need loving support, from people who BELIEVE in you, and who trust birth.
Be sure to tell anyone you have invited to your birth that if an emergency arises, or if you simply feel you have changed your mind about who you need beside you, you may ask them to leave. Each person in your birth-team must be completely open to what mother and baby need.
Remember that birth is not a spectator sport!
It is best not to invite people to just come watch. Only include helpers who have a role and who you feel 100% comfortable with. Some midwives feel that for each “extra” or “not needed” person at the birth, labor could be prolonged by an extra hour. We need support and privacy, all at once.